Nothing

Don't you hate it when you ask your mother or someone else you love what they want for a gift and they say, "nothing."? I believe people say that either because they feel guilty for "wanting" anything specifically or they want you to figure out what they want on your own. My mother told my sisters and I this year that she wanted "nothing" for Mother's Day. So I thought of this clever poem to satisfy her wants. :) enjoy. ~T

Here is nothing
the nothing you ask for
the nothing you receive
Here is nothing
the nothing you don't deserve
the nothing you don't leave
Here is nothing
Though you always deserve more
Though this nothing, you misconceive
Here is nothing
Though you give me more than I deserve
Though you give me a great love weave
Here is nothing
because a mother's love deserves more
because a mother like you, I wish not to aggrieve
Here is nothing
because you are a mother, I assume, deserved
because you are a mother, I could never preconceive
Here is nothing
and when you tire of the nothing you ask for
and when the nothings fade, be relieved

I got you flowers too.

Stuck

Do they care?
with their rolling eyes
and blank stares
they look at me like I'm crazy
they pretend to care
tell me I'm wrong!
they pretend to care?!?!
Inquiries to sound interested
but all it is, is mocking
they find all I do appalling
is it really that shocking?
I do what I want
how I want
when I want
shush! listen to me
without judging
get off your fat high horse
I'm tired of your muck
at least I'm trying
...I'm just stuck...


I wrote this poem after feeling like my family wasn't supporting me in the things I was doing at the time. Sometimes it's hard to make life decisions and it's easier if you have support.
~T~

The Search

The ghosts of my ancestors
invade my mind
calling me, pulling me
wanting me to find
missing pieces, times of past
falling backwards, til the last
Where are you?
Who are you?
What we learn gives light
excites the idea that death
is not the end
just another jigsaw piece
another story to comprehend
to tell, to learn
to live and yearn
live on in my veins
as my blood shot eyes crave
to find the answers upon my screen
and fill in everything lost between.

I wrote this after a couple of days of endless searching on ancestry.com for people in my family tree. It had become like an obsession. I even dreamt about it. lol... I felt crazy for a couple of days and excited about finding the answers. Still haven't finished finding everything. Took a break from it after realizing how crazy I felt searching for answers like that. I will get back to it soon, just going slow so I don't feel like that again.