My Mask

I wear a mask today
but those who love me
can sometimes see it slip away
I fear my eyes give away my guilt
guilty of feeling sad
the sadness I tried to contain, spilt
what am I missing?
what do I need?
to fill this empty hole
this deep, hollow, aching...
in my soul.

Been feeling sad lately... It's like...I should feel happy with all the holidays around. But there's just so much in my life I'm trying to figure out so I can grow up I suppose. I sometimes slip up though and a sadness enters my eyes that gives me away... So I need to keep my mask on tighter I guess until I can figure this out or just give myself some time to just cry. Sometimes that's really helpful when you are feeling sad, to just cry and let it out instead of holding it all in. Hard for me though because I have been taught that crying shows weakness and I'd rather wear this mask than to cry...but then again...couldn't this mask be considered being weak too?... who knows? *Shrug*
~T~