The Book of My Life

lost among the pages
I long never to leave
another world, different faces
the longer the book
the faster I read
the fantasy, my mind took
flew away, gone at last
uncertain of reality
escaping it's firm grasp
but what will become of me
as I burrow and hide
into the books I flee?
a great adventure
is what I long and crave
yet in reality, I will never venture
I am scared
because at the end
pages will sit idle as they were all I cared.

I reread the last Harry Potter book between last night and today. It made me feel very melancholy at the end. I hate the prologue at the end... it makes me sad to have missed 19 years of Harry and everyone else's life. Why do I feel so sad to miss a character from a books life? It wasn't real. Yet everyday I hide myself away, reading books, my head lost in my own world of imagination. I miss out on parts of my own life. Things I find myself scared to face. I am a coward. Too scared to live my own life the way I truly want to, in order to be happy. I can live vicariously through my books...but when it comes down to the end...we all die and what true love and life will I have to remember? Pages of print telling me what their adventure found... while I sat idle, too scared to grab my own. Fear of the unknown... can destroy life... If only I could now find the courage to grab my life and make it be what I want it to. Though with my books of fantasy, I find I long for those things that we know not to be real. Things of fantasy are my longing...and unobtainable. From a young age I always wished to be born in a different time, a different world. I do not fit here. I love my family but I long for something more...which I am unsure of. I'm not sure I know how to be happy anymore. I wish I knew how to find happiness. It's just an ongoing battle within myself for my life. Wish me luck.
~T~

Slow

float fluttering
fluttering fall
these are the days
remember them all
broken and lost
happy and safe
discover the truth
for these days
do not end in youth
quality and quantity
dispose of the fast
souls for eternity
forever we last.

It is what it is...you tell me what u think ;)
~T~