This Feeling...IDK

Feeling wretched
feeling vile
give me something
to defile
annoyance roots
anger burns
let me retch
my stomach churns
fire blown out
first sigh
never, never
shout
look to a mirror
look deep
find your soul
don't weep
match the soul to image
make yourself happy
forget to cringe
be happy.

eh...it's ok... *shrug*
~T

Fire

Windows catching
on the brink
pitter, patter
pitter, patter
dripping in the sink
Glazed smoke
hides the charr
click, tap
click, tap
reveal the scar
Doors banging
opening to none
creak, crash
creak, crash
this place is done.

This was inspired by my ex-fiance's house burning down last week. I was sad to hear about it. It was my home for three years. I was sad to lose some of my own items that I hadn't been able to recover yet. I was also sad for him and his girlfriend and baby that they lost everything they had. Also, thankful that I was not still there, for I would have lost everything. I don't think I could handle that.
~T

Help Me Escape

Drowning under flourescent lights
swallow me whole
the dark night
in a hole of selfishness, sinking
I tear my soul
where am I going?
The road is lit
lined with light poles
but I still can't see it
I'll follow tails lights
but it takes its toll
swinging on the tail of this kite
hoping to end up somewhere for safe keeping
where I hope, want and am meant to be, full.
happy. content, life done sucking.
tired... tired of sleeping. Stop it!
this dreaming lull
I need to escape it.

Feeling very emotional his weekend. Things going on that are making me feel like I'm stuck in place, not really moving. I am not happy. Why can't I achieve in life, what I want? It's so annoying... grrr. *cry*
~T

Summer Day

sweet berry, fill me up
let that syrup
stick to me again
sing the fragrance
through my skin
that longs for silk
and rough again
sun kissed
angels, shine away
hold me in this
summer day.

Ahh! Summer is here! :) June is one of my favorite months, mainly because that's when the mulberries are ripe for eating. :) yumm. This is how my day was today. Mulberries, soft freshly shaved legs (went swimming) and freckles (angel kisses), continued to be warmed and darkened by the sun's rays. Happy Summer!... I hope...lol. This summer I turn 25... :/
~T

Leave it Behind

That rear view mirror
is like chocolate
you crave it
That rear view mirror
is bitter sweet
it's hard to forget
That rear view mirror
calls my name...
I wanna punch it
That rear view mirror
makes me regret
makes me sad
That rear view mirror
needs to disappear
so, I'll leave it behind.

So many times we find ourselves drawn to things that remind us of the past, things we need to forget and move on from. I found myself drawn to something like that today. It's an awful feeling of despair, regret...thinking... what if? But we can't change the past and some things are better off left there. Move on.
~T

Invisible Hands

Faceless friends
hold out their invisible hands for me
silly me, I smile
and jump into the crowd, crowd surfing
as I hit the floor
I begin to cry
always there, invisibly
supporting me...
ya right.


So I wrote this poem after checking my email to see if anyone I had email my story I'm currently working on to. Most of the people are friends I hardly see ever, some are family though... But it's been 2 days and no one has replied yet about what they think... I think they haven't probably started even reading it. I know some didn't even get around to it the last time I sent out the email w/ the previous chapters... So frustrating. I really need reader imput and feed back and I'm getting zilch. *sigh* Can't always be easy writing...
~T

When the Pain Hits

Twinges of pain beat at me
What will this mean?
How do I explain to someone who wants to be with me?
with each pinch,with each wince
I see my future bleak...
everything is uncertain
Trust in God, I think
Maybe something wonderful is behind this curtain
the pain is a veil
that only with the Lord's help can I lift
Until then, I will just hunch over and endure
when the pain hits.

This is a personal, literal poem.
~T