Sapiens: Cell
by cell we form
Minds searching for so much more
A creavolution
Sweet-n-low: Diabetes sucks
Like sweet tea in the summer
Sip, sip, sip away
Sunscreen: Level of degree
Skin that cringes in the heat
Welcome the aloe
Silicone:
These bouncing beauties
They never droop in tight tees
Jiggle, jiggle, woah!
Skyscrapers: We build them up high
Reaching,
reaching for the sky
Down below, is full
This is my latest poem I wrote for my workshops in my poetry writing class this semester. My classmates didn't quite grasp the concept of the poem but they were close. I got the idea from reading an article about people saying man made stuff wasn't natural. The writer of the article went on to explain that technically everything that evolves and forms through this world is natural and as humans we cause things to form just as a rain drop falling into the soil causes things to grow and thus all things are natural even if they seem unnatural because they are man made. My poem is pointing out how these things that seem unnatural are in fact natural responses from us humans to compensate for something we find is a problem. i.e. sugar being bad for us so we create "unnatural" sweetener to try to fix that problem. We get sun burned by the suns rays, so we create sun screen to use. We find our bodies lacking some how, so we create a product and procedure to fix it. We run out of room to build enough buildings to house people, so we build the buildings up. I couldn't understand why my classmates couldn't understand how my poem conveys this... They did however seem to all really like it despite not quite understanding it, so I don't think I'm going to be editing it. Please leave comments if you think differently. Thanks! ~T
I think the poem is fun and it is one of my favorites I can remember. I think the concept of what changes we cause through science and other inventions is difficult to grasp as natural. I don't know if there is anything in the poem u can change to do that. I've been thinking on it and still haven't grasped that idea yet although I understand what you said about the rain drop causing things to grow. It's like a cause and affect scenario.
ReplyDeleteMaybe second line under sapiens "Created to create the un-natural" becuase maybe I haven't grasped the concept yet like ur class but I think that it is natural for humans to create and make things but that what we make is not natural itself. The act is a natural act but the product is not.
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