Slow

float fluttering
fluttering fall
these are the days
remember them all
broken and lost
happy and safe
discover the truth
for these days
do not end in youth
quality and quantity
dispose of the fast
souls for eternity
forever we last.

It is what it is...you tell me what u think ;)
~T~

Stuck

Do they care?
with their rolling eyes
and blank stares
they look at me like I'm crazy
they pretend to care
tell me I'm wrong!
they pretend to care?!?!
Inquiries to sound interested
but all it is, is mocking
they find all I do appalling
is it really that shocking?
I do what I want
how I want
when I want
shush! listen to me
without judging
get off your fat high horse
I'm tired of your muck
at least I'm trying
...I'm just stuck...


I wrote this poem after feeling like my family wasn't supporting me in the things I was doing at the time. Sometimes it's hard to make life decisions and it's easier if you have support.
~T~

Perched Upon a Fence

Selfish lies hold me back
drifting, merrily, I won't look back
pain lies ahead, but pain lies behind
self pity left behind, I look ahead
move forward, swiftly building
walls, walls from the past, that were once torn down
one foot forward, one foot back
I stop and stare, stuck in the middle of the tracks
perch myself, idle, listless
torn between which way to turn
neither way looks good
build me a fence to perch upon
until my faith can push me on


This is about indecision about choices. It's easy to want to stay put and not move forward, remember past pains that scare you from moving forward as you must. I'm still not sure if I am moving forward or perched on my fence.
~T~

Publish Post

Stars in the Sky

By the wings of my heart
I fly at night
mind and soul wretched apart
I take flight
take me somewhere peaceful
soft nature surrounds
take me somewhere beautiful
where I'll never be found
floating silently
I soar by
riding the wind gallantly
but all you see is the sky
and rain drops fall
from a clear starry night
don't look appalled
like this isn't right
explanations are pointless
just enjoy what God gave us
close your eyes
and soar with me
I promise
you'll be happy.


I wrote this within the last year and a half. I was tired of conflict and betrayals of friends and vowed that if I could just escape it all I could be happy and if I could bring those with me whom I trusted and held dear, that they too could escape it. But they had to trust me first...because one who is silent and only writes out her opinions and feelings apparently gains no merit easily, even among friends. To be honest, I have found over these last few years that I have few friends that have stayed true and among those few most are related to me by blood. Sometimes I feel it's just me, that there is something about me that people ignore me or my opinions and feelings and thus I become a small person they pay little heed and reverence and so when times of strife are upon us...they abandon my advice to their own selfish wants. But I know I am not one to be ignored. Those who choose to do so are foolish. A foolish man leads a foolish life of no value.
~T~

Silence

silence echoes loudly
filling me with hate
hoping still it will fade
before it is too late
silence bouncing off the walls
reminding me of the voice I miss
listening for never coming calls
and an unfamiliar kiss
silence used to be my forte
a fortress for my mind
yet here I am stuck inside
not feeling very kind
silence has invaded my heart
and cut loose tears
silence is no longer mine
but a weapon feeding my fears.

Wrote this in an aftermath of a guy being jerk to me. I really like this poem because of how I put it out there that I use my own silence as a way of defending myself against hurt and then it was turned against me to hurt me. I had never realized that my defense could hurt others until then.

Rain

The rain glazes over the surface
making the dreary sky seem precious
for we look for the good
to make ourselves forget
we're all misunderstood
and we all get wet
trudging through the puddles
leaves dripping with heavy drops
careful not to slip on wet pebbles
muddy holes filled to the top
we don't fall
we stick it out
til the rain stops

A rainy day inspired hopeful thoughts.

Splattered

Falling, falling backwards,
don't catch me if I fall
the world is full of cowards
and the buildings are too tall
so let me jump
let me burn
hold your lunch
feel free to turn
splat me on the sidewalk
my broken bruised heart
now lies, permanently, stopped the clock
now we must part
you will forget me
this girl so cute
too open and caring
my heart is dead now
splattered so beautifully
on the ground.

I wrote this after heart break obviously.lol. I look back on it now and see how irrational it was to feel this way at the time. Though I cannot deny my feelings, I can learn from them by writing them down and looking back on them and seeing how foolish I was to feel that way.

Sway to the Beat

calmly swaying to the beat
a blank mind
and moving feet
a soft smile spreads across
knowing more
telling less
if you were here
I'd slap your face
for all this
I cannot erase
be silent, be still
I can be none
for the beat is playing
and my hips aren't done
so hold me in your arms
...if you can
but you don't deserve to...
and..maybe others do.
so, hold me now
or run away
I refuse to listen to your silence another day!

This poem is written to someone who hurt me and refused to talk to me afterwards to so sort it out.

A Moment

and in that moment I knew
I knew that I had failed
the sun bore down on me like a spotlight
a spotlight illuminating my soul.
and I was ashamed
ashamed of myself, my actions
or rather my lack of actions
actions that I may come to regret...
...yet...I cannot go back in time
In time I will learn how to correct this
until then, I will hide and burrow away
away from those who will make me feel like I should die
die for this bad decision, in a moment so thin
only a moment, only a second to decide
decide the fate of my darkened soul
and failure of self worth
worth is all we have
have a little faith and I will learn
Learning is what I do best
remember, we are all blotched
blotched, spotted, marked, imperfect
look before you throw the stone...
the stone may be meant for you too.

This poem, is written about choices and judgment. How we all have our choices to make and we can't always choose right, but that doesn't give others the right to sit there and judge us. This also makes me think of a song called Playing God by Paramore. Check it out. It's a good song. :)

Reading

Melt into the abyss
mind seeking yet another
clouds float, too close, too dense
burning eyes refuse to surrender
moving fast, taking it all in
til the morning dawn calls it's hinder
sleep commands
yet defiance moves forward
searching, loving another world's demands
the mind's reel never stopping
story after story
reality harping
give in to the loss
reality must be lived
remembering it is truly the boss
flicking off the switch
the reel refuses to unwind
darkness tries to engulf
but fleeting lovers burst to mind
and eventually sleep rends the snuff

This is how it feels for me to read, how I have such a hard time putting a book down to go to sleep and how the story refuses to leave my mind as I try there trying to fall asleep.

The Search

The ghosts of my ancestors
invade my mind
calling me, pulling me
wanting me to find
missing pieces, times of past
falling backwards, til the last
Where are you?
Who are you?
What we learn gives light
excites the idea that death
is not the end
just another jigsaw piece
another story to comprehend
to tell, to learn
to live and yearn
live on in my veins
as my blood shot eyes crave
to find the answers upon my screen
and fill in everything lost between.

I wrote this after a couple of days of endless searching on ancestry.com for people in my family tree. It had become like an obsession. I even dreamt about it. lol... I felt crazy for a couple of days and excited about finding the answers. Still haven't finished finding everything. Took a break from it after realizing how crazy I felt searching for answers like that. I will get back to it soon, just going slow so I don't feel like that again.

Who do YOU believe?

Where will you find what you believe?
dig deep within your soul
dig, dig, til you bleed
What will you find?
pretend it's more
and leave the truth behind
lies and deception
create new truths
leaving the world with false perceptions
hot is cold, skinny is fat
oranges are apples
I bet you didn't realize that!
who's to say what is what?
and when is when?
Even the Government...
well, let's just say, I don't believe THEM.
Who do we trust?
What should we believe?...
...Blue is purple...AND!..
I WILL SUCCEED!
at all I strive to achieve
self belief, love of family.
That's reality.

I don't hold much faith in our government. I pray that our nation will stay solid through my life and through my descendants lives. I fear that this relaxed state that the U.S. is in cannot hold forever. Many already try to break it. Only way to keep sane is to trust yourself and love all you can. It's the only thing that will keep us sane.

Daze of Days

I sit in my dimly lit room
shadows dancing along the walls
my own eyes staring back at me
reflecting...what?...I don't know.
I dreamt a dream last night
it was crazy just like me
and I lingered on that dream today
wishing it to be
shadows and light go hand in hand
I was the light... I am the light!
dreaming dreams, I am good at
making dreams come true
not so much
but here I sit anyways
dreaming.

This poem I wrote one day after feeling annoyed at myself for always letting my imagination run away with me into a dream world. Seems like I'd rather be in some dream world I create than in this world where I'm bound to live.

You Cannot Steal Me!

Bounding slowly through the air
hoping, praying, I'm headed somewhere
fields of strife will try to pull me down
but I will flex my heart and send it tumbling back to the ground
forward, flying, ignoring the darkness creeping
internal chiding, I should be sleeping
I refuse to allow the darkness to take me
it cannot steal me away
it will come and come and I will live to fight another day
wind blowing through my hair
a cape of heroism, for all to grab and tear
as I allow the rain drops to drip from my chin
wash away those I hold responsible for them
leave me my burden, do not add
for everyday you linger in my mind, I am sad.
Shoo away with you, the weight too much
stop stealing away from me a happy heart and gentle touch.
I will shine brightly without your corruption upon me
scurry away like the pestilence you are, let me be Free!


This is poem written about those who have hurt me so deep that I have a hard time pushing away from what they did to me. So easy to forgive, so much harder to forgive and takes even longer to heal from it all.

Lost

Shivering in the cold
the little girl rocks
trying to stay warm
the floors are bare and brown
no blanket to be found
the tears roll down her face
freeze before they drip off her chin
huddled in the corner
rocking, rocking
her blue eyes wide in fright
night surrounds
and she remains cold, unfound
rocking, rocking
rubbing her hands together
trying to get warm
nothing will help in this winter storm
the night wears on
and pretty blues eyes stare, unblinking
rocking, rocking...no more.


this is a poem I wrote about a year ago I think. It's not a story about anyone real in specific. It's more metaphorical than real. I thought of it as feeling alone...even in a room full of people or feeling the lonely despair of being stuck somewhere you can't stand. I use blue eyes in alot of my art work and in my poetry and other writings because I have blue eyes, usually means I'm relating the character to myself.

Eggshells

Brand new poem I wrote tonight. :)

This prison of egg shells is narrow.
watch your step
listen and be wary for whistling arrows
step lightly
a slight offense could bring you to your knees
lightly run...if you can
escape or hide, just be safe please
can this prison disappear?
it IS home...
disappear...I wish
happiness could be free to roam
...wish there weren't eggshells...


I wrote this poem tonight after feel anxiety about being around my father. Seems like him and I are always butting heads and I hate to fight with him and he always makes me feel like I always let him down. :(

Future

I see the future,
bleak but clear,
50/50, stand clear
most die, some live
systems die, lessons relived
one stands tall,
among them all
giving orders
establishing borders
change means what?
change means this
I see the future
bleak but clear
50/50, stand clear
will you die? will you live?
I cry for mine
as the system crumbles in.


This poem is open to interpetation. I wrote it after having a dream about what would happen if some disaster struck the earth. But some see it as a current political evaluation poem. I am not very opinionated in politics... So take it as you will.

The Tree in my Hand

growing roots,
grow a tree,
tree of life,
branches free,
free the sky,
drop a leaf,
bending, breaking, leave
ever changing
changes greatly needed
silly follies always repeated
bark grows thick
growing as we age
turning, yearning, moving each page
flip through the pages
move slowly
remember and never feel lonely
each branch holds its own
holding, holding, til it must let go
go, go, going, gone.
but the tree lives on.



I wrote this while I was in a phase where I was a little obsessed with the image of the celtic Tree of Life. I was drawing pictures of it all the time and I just couldn't stop using it as creative inspiration.

Me x4

My Imagination
it is gone
flew away
a slight breeze
of time
bustled it away
"come back"
I say meekly
"I am lost"
"without you"

My Creativity
yours will serve me fine
I will just slide off you
like a spin off
not so funny
"Joey" was good
"Friends" was better
a continuation
a cancellation
just not as good
as the original

My Mind
cluttering in self
closed, ignorant
irrational
gone with the wind
lost to the heart
serving for a humor
dull and stumped
standing listless
pointless

My Heart
rule the ward
giggle at the others
blow a kiss
give a hug
grow, expand, explode
bursting to the brim
at home on the sleeve
let the cool breeze
blow me about
I will pout
but I'll be where I choose
until there's a noose.



I wrote these four poems about the four parts of myself that I find help develope and create my poems. I find they explain who I am and my personality pretty well too. :)

In the Fields

In the fields is the grain,
in the fields it will rain,
in the fields I will stand,
and i will demand,
demand what you say?
for nothing else to come my way.




short, simple poem. This was my very first poem I ever wrote. I was 13 when I wrote it.

The first Stone

So, this is my new blog that I will be writing in. It will be mostly my poems, new and old. I have tried blogging them on other sites but have not had enough readers to get good feedback on my poetry, so I'm trying this. First I'll give you a little background on myself to help you know me a little bit before reading my poetry.
I am a female, 24 years old. I have been writing poetry since I was 13. I really enjoy writing poetry. It helps get my emotions out and allows me to say things I would never say out loud to anyone. I am a very emotional person, I feel emotions strongly and sometimes am hurt more than I let show to those around me, so I turn to my poetry for my outlet. I am able to take criticism though. I really want to know what people think of my poetry and maybe get some advice for them. :)
I will try to write a post poem explanation of the poem I wrote and also if I wrote it when I was younger as well. It's good to know that when evaluating a poem. I like people to see where I'm coming from. But I'll put it after the poem that way you can read the poem first and see if you can understand it without explanation first. :)
I really hope everyone can help me out with your feedback and anything else. Please feel free to comment on them! If it sucks, tell me. If it needs work, tell me. If it's wonderful, tell me. ;p
Thanks :)
~T~