Teenage Freedom

The long nights of teenage freedom did slip
through my out stretched hand as I tried to hold
all I was supposed to be and believe.
Still, I smile when I see a Lumina.
The full front seat left blushing memories.
The parking lots and dirt roads were witness
as my innocence slowly slipped away
on those long nights of teenage freedom.


I've been trying to get into writing more poetry lately since I haven't been doing as much since the semester ended.  I have another poetry writing class this coming semester so I'm trying to get back into a writing state of mind.  It's been difficult because I haven't had inspiration.  Tonight however my mind traveled back to my days as a teenager as I fell in love for the first time.  This is definitely not a poem I want my parents to read. lol.  Hope you enjoy though. =)
~T

Loneliness of Perfection

Cross the worn path and fall
Into the deep woods of alone
Where unbroken crisp snow
Is still pristine and deer gaze silently.
Dip your fingers into the iciness
Of alone and perfect
Feel them go numb,
See them go red,
 like the swollen eyes
Of the girl you left behind
The night you decided
She followed the worn path too far.



Hey! Brand spankin' new poem!  Just wrote it minutes ago.  I really like it. =)  That's why I'm sharing it.  Enjoy. ~T

Pen and Paper: A Love Story

Like magnets, we meet again.
I shall caress you, making you blush.
I love leaving something of myself
with you, an impression, a vibe...
You know I'm yours and you're mine.
Destined to be together, our worlds collide.
Your pale, crisp, clean skin
the earthy musk draws me.
You, I must touch.
You forgive my blunders, though
they still exist
and yes
this is our first and last kiss
of the moment.



Just wrote this tonight.  My mind just started to drift and I said, I need to write.  So I did.  My pen and paper needed to touch.  This is what we got. :)  Enjoy. ~T

Mixed Signals

Crossing wires
leads to fires
or lights
that won't
turn on.

Frozen

This isn't a new poem. I just never posted it. I felt like it's just a repeat in different words of other poems I have written. I also didn't like the end of it. But when I re-read it tonight, I found what needed to be added to the end to make me like the flow. But I still feel like it's a repeat. Sharing it none the less. enjoy ~T


Shut it down
put up the walls
because what's inside
I don't like at all
Shield my face
with tears of ice
freeze them out
try to be nice
too warm, too soft, too plush
inside
to deserve anything
besides
Broken, shattered
trying to tape it back together
holding on
against this cold weather
Where I end is not where I begin
but open minds
are longed for again
open hearts lost
in the madness of this winter storm
I just want to be held
comforted, to be warm
to be loved, to be cherished
forever more.

Nothing

Don't you hate it when you ask your mother or someone else you love what they want for a gift and they say, "nothing."? I believe people say that either because they feel guilty for "wanting" anything specifically or they want you to figure out what they want on your own. My mother told my sisters and I this year that she wanted "nothing" for Mother's Day. So I thought of this clever poem to satisfy her wants. :) enjoy. ~T

Here is nothing
the nothing you ask for
the nothing you receive
Here is nothing
the nothing you don't deserve
the nothing you don't leave
Here is nothing
Though you always deserve more
Though this nothing, you misconceive
Here is nothing
Though you give me more than I deserve
Though you give me a great love weave
Here is nothing
because a mother's love deserves more
because a mother like you, I wish not to aggrieve
Here is nothing
because you are a mother, I assume, deserved
because you are a mother, I could never preconceive
Here is nothing
and when you tire of the nothing you ask for
and when the nothings fade, be relieved

I got you flowers too.

Love poem XXXVII of Emily Dickinson's

Gonna give ya one of Emily's AND one of mine today. Emily first though. :) enjoy. ~T

Love is anterior to life
Posterior to death
Initial to creation, and
the exponent of breath.

Love poem of Emily Dickinson

It's all I have to bring to-day,
This, and my heart beside,
This, and my heart, and all the fields,
And all the meadows wide.
Be sure you count, should I forget,--
Some one the sun could tell,--
This, and my heart, and all the bees
Which in the clover dwell.


I love reading Emily Dickinson poetry. She uses similar rhythm to her poetry as I do in mine and it flows so easily from my tongue. ~T

I'm Writing to Tell You by Jewel Kilcher

I'm writing
this letter to tell you

I don't love you anymore.

I don't miss you.

I never have.

The truth is, I
tried, but never found
your adoration
anything other than arduous

your niceties cliched,

your praise thoughtless,

and it has become
unbearably obvious
that you love me with
all the originality
of romance novels;

the manly man weakening
the luscious flower.



One of my absolute favorites. As a single lady, I have met quite a few men who this poem reminds me of.
~T

We Create in Different Ways

Again, going to talk before the poem. :) This poem was inspired moments ago by my realization that I love it when people comment and like about my art work and scenery photos I post on facebook. Where I post art, my friends and family post pictures of their children. I'm sure they feel proud and happy when people "like" and comment on the pictures of their children too. ~T

Smile, birth
Smile, create
photo, awww!
photo, neat!
1 step, 2 step, Cheer!
1 line, 2 line, review.
giggle, giggle, Hug!
snap, snap, upload.
scribble, scribble, fridge.
Doodle, doodle, display.
your children, your creation.
my children, my creation.

Alone

Alone in the night
my heart
I do fight
empty and aching
never to sleep
never to waking
alone in my dreams
alone in my fears
alone tonight
alone for years
calloused hands broke
calloused eyes blind
empty soul took
empty soul left behind
chips and pieces
more than enough
the hollow sound too much
being alone is tough
reaching for something
anything to hold
dying to be loved again
before I'm too old.

This poured out of me after feeling so alone w/o anyone special in my life for a long time now. Seeing other people complain about missing loved ones who have to be away from them for a while, to me it's like, at least you know they are out there and that they love you. I'm not knocking your pain of missing them, I just am jealous I suppose. I'd rather be in pain of missing someone than the pain I have sometimes of not having anyone to miss.
~T

My Books Haunt Me

Silent meetings
filled with tears
How each page...
each phrase...
echoes in my ears
Drop a bomb
to my heart
make me dream
of a new start
Happy laughter
smiling hearts
Hopeless frowns
silent screams
Playing part
pages echo
in my dreams
Sleepless nights
of imaginary things
Close the book
turn out the light
But faces still cry
with each passing page of night.


This was inspired after finishing reading the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. I got too emotionally attached to the characters and felt their pain greatly. I do that alot, get attached to characters that aren't real, mostly in books and then I want to recreate the story and make it something happy, that is how I'd like it to be. But then I remember that it's already printed in ink and I can't change it. and I also tell myself it's not real, but my emotions are real, so it's hard. *sigh* :(
~T

Help Me Escape

Drowning under flourescent lights
swallow me whole
the dark night
in a hole of selfishness, sinking
I tear my soul
where am I going?
The road is lit
lined with light poles
but I still can't see it
I'll follow tails lights
but it takes its toll
swinging on the tail of this kite
hoping to end up somewhere for safe keeping
where I hope, want and am meant to be, full.
happy. content, life done sucking.
tired... tired of sleeping. Stop it!
this dreaming lull
I need to escape it.

Feeling very emotional his weekend. Things going on that are making me feel like I'm stuck in place, not really moving. I am not happy. Why can't I achieve in life, what I want? It's so annoying... grrr. *cry*
~T

Leave it Behind

That rear view mirror
is like chocolate
you crave it
That rear view mirror
is bitter sweet
it's hard to forget
That rear view mirror
calls my name...
I wanna punch it
That rear view mirror
makes me regret
makes me sad
That rear view mirror
needs to disappear
so, I'll leave it behind.

So many times we find ourselves drawn to things that remind us of the past, things we need to forget and move on from. I found myself drawn to something like that today. It's an awful feeling of despair, regret...thinking... what if? But we can't change the past and some things are better off left there. Move on.
~T

Within

In the silent of the night
I hear your stars echo bright
your love embraces me
Yet still, fear, in my heart, does beat
Can I hold this change?
As my eyes search the pages
Where will I stand?
I just wanna take your hand
Take my fear away
In my heart, I want you to stay
Forgive me
Your love in my heart,
I want it to beat
Holy is your name forever.
Amen.

~T

Waiting

Again Again
it slows to a creep
keeping my mind fogged
and heart bleeped
you sit there idle without line
what you crave you can have
if you find the balls
to grab it and stuff it in the bag

I'm here waiting
what to see
again again
I'm stuck waiting

The salty drips tick away the time
slowly slowly eating away the rhyme
Time slows, oh not for me
with all my heart
I ache to see
The love that should threaten
to besot me...

I'm here waiting
what to see
again again
I'm stuck waiting


This was a little different of a poem than I usually write. This was more in a verse that could be made into song. I was listening to old Paramore Demo songs and was really inspired to try to write it in verse. I think it's pretty good.
~T

Never Ending Heart Break

folded, closing
ending this tale
my heart is shuttered
sobbing in jail
each try was worth the risk
but too wounded, it now leaves a trail
waiting, waiting for one to follow
lift me up, for the breeze to sail
broken and lost
I sit by the trail
someone will come along eventually
but that too may fail
that's how it continues
like chain mail
leaving my heart in pieces
always ready to bail.

Just wrote this a moment ago. I just feel like from one relationship to another that it just leaves more and more wounds to heal and that with each new relationship I try, I'm just waiting for them to fix the broken heart the last one left. I don't think that is fair to them. So I feel like now I'm blocking myself off, letting myself heal and waiting for the right one to come along when I'm ready and when God thinks I'm ready. Lord, sometimes I think I'm ready...but that's only myself lying to myself.
~T

Sun... Rise!

And she rises with a crimson blush
Debating whether or not to grace this world
The trees quiver and animals hush
waiting, waiting for that one moment
She's so lovely, so bold.
And as she rises, slow and high, it's the moment
To live and love and rejoice
Over this land and sea, the whole world
she has a heart beat, she has a voice.
For God's love made such beauty
The day he made this world
It's beat is ours and we need to keep it beating.

Driving to work this morning there was the red sun, peeking up over the earth. Made me think she was blushing, shy, timid about gracing us with her presence. lol.. Not that I believe the sun is a living being that you could call a "she", it's just that there's something so feminine about the sun, it's beauty, it's strength, it's ability to create and sustain life... *shrug* Thank you Lord for our beautiful earth and the wonders that keep it alive and us alive.
~T

I'll Love You Forever

Layer me with your powder
I'll brush it off and scream louder
Get off me!
Leave my heart and mind in peace
This chill that echoes down my soul
Is reminiscent of the pain that left holes
but as you keep trickling down upon my head
I question if my love for you is dead
I hate this thought
but my mind is snagged, it's caught.
Give me a shovel, I'll dig myself out
It's not as if I expect you to pay attention to my pout.
I will enjoy you from afar
maybe scoop you up and put you in a jar
Be my snow globe and I'll wind you up
Listen to memories and fill my cup
That's all that is left
I'm happy with the love I've kept
Forgive me and I forgive you
For our love is gone, but it was true...
I'll always love you.

I wrote this today at work. It snowed heavily today and the snow helped inspire me as well as a dream I had last night in which I dreamed about things with my ex.
~T

While inside I cry

The empty days of my busy life...
those who love me care...they try.
but surrounded by them, I smile rife.
while inside I cry
He smiled at me slowly, shock in his eyes evident
those who love me don't see it
I smile back, pretending not to notice, pretending to be confident
while inside I cry
Life as I knew it suddenly became a clear lie
those who love me saw it
I should have seen sooner, but I just wanted to try
while inside I cry
innocent, adolescent, teenage me
those who love me didn't see
how I'd escape in my mind, fantasy... Flee!
while inside I cry
to smile and really feel happy.

In this I used 3 specific memories from things that have happened in my life that I remember feeling so sad and depressed and upset and confused... It's about how I expect those who love me to be observant and how blind I make myself or how I hide myself away so much...Maybe I should've been an actress...lol
~T~
p.s. sorry the last 2 poems have been so sad/depressing...just in a funk.