Dusty Questions

easily we trust one another
with our heads in the clouds and hearts on sleeves
to question, is considered a bother
being called into question, leaves many peeved
why should we take everything at face value?
I trust only those I love
but even those can deceive you
that's a betrayal undreamed of
who's to say the person behind the screen
is who they claim?
this credence given, is not what it seems
don't be made asinine, don't be shamed
take back your truth
clear away the dust
lying is uncouth.

~ This started out light hearted when I first started writing it, but ended up being more serious. It was first inspired by the fact that I was playing an online game called World of Warcraft and I was on a male character and so I pretended to be a different person to mess around with someone. It was quite humorous and they didn't mind. But when thinking about it, I considered how serious these identity lies can be or just any lies... people just trust people, it's our human nature to want to trust everyone. What do you think?
~T

While inside I cry

The empty days of my busy life...
those who love me care...they try.
but surrounded by them, I smile rife.
while inside I cry
He smiled at me slowly, shock in his eyes evident
those who love me don't see it
I smile back, pretending not to notice, pretending to be confident
while inside I cry
Life as I knew it suddenly became a clear lie
those who love me saw it
I should have seen sooner, but I just wanted to try
while inside I cry
innocent, adolescent, teenage me
those who love me didn't see
how I'd escape in my mind, fantasy... Flee!
while inside I cry
to smile and really feel happy.

In this I used 3 specific memories from things that have happened in my life that I remember feeling so sad and depressed and upset and confused... It's about how I expect those who love me to be observant and how blind I make myself or how I hide myself away so much...Maybe I should've been an actress...lol
~T~
p.s. sorry the last 2 poems have been so sad/depressing...just in a funk.

Forcing

I step up to the plate
Hey! this should be fun!
Batter up! Batter up!
Let's give it a run
quick sand makes up home plate as I step up
Sure! Why not?
It can't be THAT rough
down I sink
every instinct screams to fight it
but there I stand sinking
holding my tongue, biting it
too sweet, too soon
Just slow down, give me some room
too desperate, too lonely
is it worth the phony?
trying not to lie, avoiding the truth
too afraid of letting the other fall
so here I stand sinking
hoping it will get better once I hit the ball.

Can't explain this at this time...but maybe you can figure it out w/o explainations.
~T~

Perched Upon a Fence

Selfish lies hold me back
drifting, merrily, I won't look back
pain lies ahead, but pain lies behind
self pity left behind, I look ahead
move forward, swiftly building
walls, walls from the past, that were once torn down
one foot forward, one foot back
I stop and stare, stuck in the middle of the tracks
perch myself, idle, listless
torn between which way to turn
neither way looks good
build me a fence to perch upon
until my faith can push me on


This is about indecision about choices. It's easy to want to stay put and not move forward, remember past pains that scare you from moving forward as you must. I'm still not sure if I am moving forward or perched on my fence.
~T~

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